The best Glossier products, rated by us.
As a Beauty Ed I get asked what the best Glossier products are all.the.time. But, here’s the thing: up until a week ago, I had never seen a Glossier product IN.REAL.LIFE. Travesty, I know. But they don’t ship to Oz (whyyyy are we always the poor cousins?) and I’ve had no fixed address for the last year so at least there’s a decent explanation for this oversight.
Anyway with precisely two weeks of experience I’m obviously super qualified to be writing a post about the best Glossier products! But I’m arrogantly going to do it anyway. And in my defence, I did spend two hours inside the unicorn playground that is their New York showroom, and I did try every.single.product. in store so there is that.
I should also say that I think Emily Weiss is a genius and what she’s done to market that brand is beyond. It’s exactly where brands should be right now – a mix of cool, accessible, social and inclusive and it’s desperately scrambling to keep up with the times… because it IS the times. Zeitgeisty as all hell. That said, not all Glossier products were created equal, as I learned.
So here is my definitive list of the best Glossier products to spend your paycheck on. Or, if you’re Aussie, what products to beg/ bribe all your mates travelling to the US for (which FYI is precisely what all my friends did when they found out I was in the US. I’m now a part time Glossier mule. And I’m not even sorry.)
To the list!
#1 Boy Brow
I put this guy first because I think he’s the MVP, nay, the Dothraki of the Glossier world. The sexy, strong fierce dude there to serve his queen and make her even more fierce. I, however, am no Khalessi, nor have I been blessed with her strong brows. They can barely do a push up, they’re so weak. Fine, sparse and blonde, this stellar combo awarded me years of childhood teasing for being “sarah no brows”. Kids are mean, man. Anyway, I didn’t know the life-changing powers of a good brow until I met my brow guy, Steve, who dyed and shaped them into something magical. Nowadays I’m separated from my beloved Steve so instead I dye my own brows… and look for products like this.
I have tried roughly 3248543 brow products but it’s to boy brow that I give my rose. It deposits a soft creamy wax on your brows which magically thickens them, fills them in and grooms them all at once. And not in an obvious “I’ve pencilled in my brows with texta” way. In a “just better than what I have” way. No wonder it’s their hero product, it goddamn should be.
#2 Cloud Paint
What do all of my best Glossier products have in common? They’re all buildable, as in you can layer the hell out of them without looking like a drag queen – and Cloud Paint totally lives up to that. This is the kind of cream blush that isn’t at all scary for first timers because it’s pretty much impossible to mess up . The lightweight formula is a smooth gel-cream that for me is the perfect cream blush consistency. I just applied one dot to each cheek apple and it was instantly blendable, kind of melting into my skin. But even so, it somehow has enough pigment so that you can still get your “maybe I just had a brisk walk” flush – even with only one dot. Genius. If your blush game is stronger than mine you can always add more, and the thing about Cloud Paint is by some sorcery it doesn’t pill or streak or flake! It remains equally delightful… but just with more intensity. Colour-wise, because of my Aussie-cliche colouring (blonde hair, blue eyes, medium skin) I went with Puff and Beam and am seriously considering naming my first born after them. Puff Tarca is cute, no?
#3 Stretch Concealer
This is a surprise addition for me because I am extremely, anally fussy about my concealers. But it was recommended to me by a living, breathing American who knows about this stuff (hi Veronica!) so I went for it. And I liked it, even though I think the experience can be kind of strange for a concealer fanatic. That’s because on first pat it’s almost invisible. Apparently it’s got “elastic micro waxes” and “nourishing oils” in it that make it so. It’s so dewy that you think maybe it’s not working, and then you realise the trick is to – you guessed it – build the colour. Because Glossier’s whole schtick is about natural makeup, it’s super dewy/ glossy so if oil is your main skin issue you probably won’t like this, but for me it was quite lovely. I got a medium, which is actually a great match. Normally I’m a neutral skin tone (ie: I don’t throw pink or yellow) and this seems to work well to cover the unevenness and lack of sleep issues, though I’m not sure how it would go with serious dark circles or breakouts.
Full disclosure: I’m heavily into highlighters. I travel with three different kinds. THREE. I don’t even travel with three pairs of jeans, but highlighters? Hell yeah. Give me the glow (even the fake kind) over practicality and warmth anyday. So, I’m hard to impress in this category. And, I have to admit I didn’t immediately love it because it needs a change in mindset if you’re into the regular heavy-on-the-glitter-and-pearl highlighting varieties. That’s because even though it’s got a crystal infused highlighter part, it’s also got a core of creamy, vitamin-rich moisturisers so you don’t just get a stripe of highlight, you get a dewy glow that’s kinda like you’ve just patted oil on your oribital bone (beauty speak for the top of the cheekbone in a “c” shape around your eye). Anyhooo, the result is more a subtle “maybe she’s from the future” glow rather than all out unicorn and this is quite preferable in my opinion.
Honourable mention: Lidstar
Ok, so I bought this (in Moon) because I’m a pop culture tragic and they launched it at the Oscars. And by “launched” I mean freaking Beyonce wore it. The shade was subtle and very very shimmery which generally I’m good with, but it’s also really super glossy… like you’ve prepped your eyelids with castor oil or something. I don’t know, maybe I’m too old for the look but I definitely only “liked” this one, instead of super liking it, which I thought I would since glitter for me is a neutral. So, althought I wouldn’t call it one of the best Glossier products, I’m definitely going to give it another go when I go out and are actually doing a makeup look rather than applying it to watch TV. So stay tuned for that one.